“Hey, Fido, It’s Your Move”

by Curtis Shelburne

OKAY, I ADMIT it: I’m a perfectionist.

I was pretty sure that was true, but all doubt evaporated the day I caught myself spending an hour making sure the dots in the “dot leaders” in our Sunday bulletin layout lined up vertically! (You know, the dots between “Hymn” on one side and the title on the other.) Ridiculous. And maybe worse.

Ever notice how some “flaws” we admit with a hint of pride? “Workaholics” bemoan their plight, inwardly feeling virtuous that they work so much harder than the rest of us. They confuse productivity with clock hours, rarely admitting that work “on the job” is more fun than doing the harder but more important life tasks they use their jobs to avoid.

And perfectionists are just the same! We “admit” the flaw, all the while inwardly pleased that our standards are so much higher than those of ordinary folks. We confuse vice with virtue. “I’m a perfectionist” should be confessed in the same way a struggler at an AA meeting honestly admits, “I’m an alcoholic.” But one is socially acceptable, even praised, while the other is not.

My fellow perfectionists, I must point out that our spouses and kids, coworkers and fellow church members, are probably under no illusion that our perfectionism is a virtue. Sure, when it’s properly channeled, we may do some fine work, but when we get the bug really bad, we can be critical, unmerciful, judgmental, and generally impossible to live with, denying the truth of the Gospel that this is a fallen, imperfect world whose only salvation is found in a perfect Savior. Christ didn’t die for perfect people!

Steve Brown, director of Key Life Network, reminds us that in this world, perfect spouses, kids, bosses, and pastors, just aren’t available. When you get 51%, you file it under “Success.” After all, Brown says, “When a dog plays checkers, you don’t criticize his game; you’re just pleased and surprised that he’s playing at all! In a fallen world, dogs playing checkers and Christians growing in love and obedience are objects for praise and not criticism!”