You’re Cordially Invited to a Fight

by Curtis Shelburne

OCCASIONALLY, in the midst of the mounds of junk mail padding our church’s post office box, I snag something interesting. The address is all I remember from one obvious File Thirteen throw-away: “Owner, 16th & D Church of Christ.” We couldn’t afford the forwarding, so I trashed the Almighty’s mail!

I pulled another round-file candidate out of the box last week, a sharp-looking tri-fold flyer proclaiming, “You Are Invited to a Religious DEBATE.” As opposed to an irreligious one? I trashed it. Too late. Impaled on curiosity’s hook, I reeled it back in.

Who’s debating? I wondered. Two of “our” guys, it seems. Two fellows from my own religious tradition are preparing to “duke it out” verbally. They plan to take the show on the road and stage the fight twice. Great. What fine public relations fodder! On par with a Pearlygate scandal or full media coverage of a fight at the convention or some ecclesiastical subcommittee voting to accept the ordination of Martians. Just what we need. Two guys planning to make it crystal clear to all comers that we can’t even get along with ourselves. (We’re not the only Christians in that boat, but that’s precious little comfort!)

Over what major theological issue are these combatants about to duel? You tell me. One will affirm: “The Scriptures teach an exclusive pattern of independent congregational cooperation.” The other?   “The Scriptures teach that one church may (has the right to) contribute to (send funds to, render assistance to) another church which has assumed (or undertaken) the oversight of a work to which both churches sustained the same relationship before the assumption of the oversight.”

Do what?! I’d rather watch Home Improvement reruns than two pugnacious preachers mud wrestling over a non-issue nobody but their cheering sections cares beans about. There is more common sense coming even from Tim “the Toolman” Taylor’s side of Wilson’s fence than you’re likely to find at this “religious” ringside. And there is a passel more wisdom in Christ’s words: “By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Yes, we can disagree about issues and still love each other, but I’ll bet renting an auditorium and sending flyers out to try to turn molehill issues into mountains might make it harder.

Reckon I’ll stay home from the fight. I don’t much care who wins. It seems to me that the church always loses when Christians fuss.