In the popular situation comedy Home Improvement,
“Well, you know what Aristotle said about Plato, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” Tim replied, “Keep the lid on it, or it will dry out.”
A number of serious barriers to communication often keep us from really understanding what the people around us are truly saying.
One of the barriers is just the distance between our worlds. Tim had no idea who Plato was. Not because he was stupid, just because he and Wilson had traveled different paths.
Another barrier is the ambiguity of words. A bride and groom look forward to their honeymoon. She dreams of shutting the world out and enjoying their love nest by the sea. He looks forward to taking her deep-sea fishing in the company of several good friends. Both use the word “honeymoon,” but they mean very different things.
A third common barrier is preconceived notions about the other person.
“He’s from
“She’s a new member, you know what she’s after.”
“Did you know he voted Democratic in the last election?”
“Well, she has been here twenty-five years!”
A psychiatrist, an engineer, and a doctor were lost while hunting in the Canadian woods. Coming upon a trapper’s cabin, getting no answer at the door, they stepped inside to wait. They noticed in the corner, suspended on a platform near the ceiling, a wood-burning stove. The psychiatrist explained it as the trapper’s psychological problem caused by isolation. The engineer said it was an ingenious form of forced-air heating. The doctor said the man had arthritis and couldn’t bend over to put in the wood. When the trapper returned they asked him.
“Simple,” said the man. “My stove pipe is too short.” A simple rule for communication and progress is this one: If in doubt, ask. No one minds hearing: “I’m not sure what you mean, please explain.”